Today I experienced something that no parent should have to add to their memory bank for future stories to tell their children. Yet, I'm beginning to think that most parents go through this experience at least once.
Today son A and I went shopping. He's still small enough that I like him to be in my sight at all times, preferably within easy grabbing reach as he has a tendency to not pay attention to other people who may be around him and more than once has almost been walked over because the other person is not aware of this little person so quietly and quickly being in front of them. So, after having been to Kohl's with him sitting in his stroller most of the time, we entered Target and he was free of my hand since I was getting a shopping cart and was going to let him walk around with me. However, his shoelace had come untied on the walk into the store, so as I took a cart I encouraged him to come to me so I could set him in it to tie his shoe. That's when Mr. Attitude showed up because he wanted to walk and not sit in the cart. I said, "A, please come here so I can tie your shoe," and he quickly responded, "No sit." And he started walking away from me. This is where I felt like Mater in the movie Cars when he should have hooked Lightning up to Bessy, then took off the boot--I should have sat him in the basket right away, then told him I needed to tie his shoe.
Son A has a pretty quick walk when he wants to, and I watched as he walked into the women's clothing section, which was sraight in front of us. Then he turned out of my sight behind a shelf display of pants or something. Usually when he does that, he turns out of view and stops (I should have known better about this too as he historically finds great joy in swatting at, running his hands along, etc. clothing that hangs down. And he enjoys peek-a-boo/hiding games). By the time I got to where he should have been, he was gone. And I mean GONE.
I'll spare you most of the panicky details of me trying to figure out the best approach to my messy situation (I immediately freaked out that he disappeared so close to the exit of the store, he was not responding to me calling his name, and if he really was lost and another adult found him he's still not familiar with answering "What's your name?" or "What's your mommy's name?"--and he's not really afraid of strangers. And I doubt he would think he was lost since he ran off knowing I was initially in pursuit). I don't know how I eventually found him, other than I got really lucky. About the time I was asking an employee at the nearby dressing rooms if she had seen a little boy, and she was telling me no and did she need to call security, I thought I heard his voice. So I called out, "A, come here." And I thought I heard, "No come." So I went in that direction and found him laying on his belly on the ground with his head under a low shelf and he was giggling (Was he trying to crawl under there to hide???).
As soon as I had him securely in my arms, my first thought was, how do I discipline him for running off and being lost to me for what seemed like at least five minutes (I know in words that doesn't seem like a long time, but in the actual moments of time, five minutes of a lost child in a clothing section of a store is a very long time). This isn't the "how" meaning "how could I". No, this is the "how" meaning "what method can I use right now that will teach him the severity of the situation in my mind?!?" And then I thought, what really can I do? Physical punishment won't teach him anything about this. I can talk until I'm blue in the face and he still may not understand that he was lost and that can be dangerous for a child his age. So eventually, after repeating multiple times that he should not have run away from me and hid, he knows better than to be out of mommy's sight, I sat him in the cart. I really just wanted to leave and go home because I was so frustrated with him and anxious of what other antics he might try while we were still shopping, but I didn't want to have to come back later or tomorrow, so we continued with me being far more controlling than I had been before he ran off. Usually I let him sit in the seat without the strap on, but not today. He got buckled in for the whole store; no more walking, that privilege was revoked. And when he wanted to look at a toy or touch something, all he heard was a firm "No. You were naughty, so No."
I'm not sure the consequences I chose were very effective in the end, but what really could I have done to discourage Mr. Attitude's behavior in the future?
No comments:
Post a Comment