Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Surprise Called Death

Today I learned that one of my friends is finishing his mortal journey and preparing to pass through the veil to those waiting on the other side for him.  Learning of his near-death situation is quite a surprise to me because I was blessed with an opportunity to see him within the last 12 months and he was healthy at the time.  Clearly I have not kept in frequent communication with him since that time, and it makes me a little sad to think of what these last few months with illness have been like for him.  Has he had better friends than myself to comfort him?  I certainly hope so.

This sudden news is making me think of life and death.  Death often helps me to focus on my own life and how I'm living and if I'm prepared for death at any moment.  But this time I am reflecting on my life and if I'm living so I have no regrets in how I treat others who pass before me.  You see, before I saw my friend several months ago I had been out of contact with him for a few years.  Suddenly, one day I thought of him and wondered if I could reestablish contact, so I looked him up on the internet.  Luckily I found just enough information to email him.  So I sent him an email and his response made me sad.  He was excited that I had found and contacted him, but mentioned that he was having a hard time socially, especially with females (he is not married but desires to be). Why the hard time?  Because too many people are too shallow and see just well enough to judge based on what they see.  What do they see with my friend?  Well, he is blind and they see blindness as a burden.  They may not actively treat him like a burden, but they see his visual impairment as such.

When I first met and became friends with Chad, he was full of life and full of excitement for life.  I enjoyed his vision of life, but even I was so focused on myself and where I wanted my life to go that I eventually lost contact with him when I moved away.  Knowing his excitement for life, I hoped he would find friends who would fill the needs for friendship that were left an open void as so many of his current friends moved on and I hoped he would be blessed to find his eternal companion.  After several years, I reestablished contact...only to find he had been afflicted with so many other "friends" who had been like me, focused so well on myself.  Fortunately I took an opportunity to visit him, to share a few moments of genuine friendship, and to hopefully bring some joy to his day.  Tonight I look back on that day and on my choices to reignite our friendship and I am grateful I did.  As I think on the time of his life in which I knew him, I do not have regrets about the kind of friend I tried to be, especially in trying to not see his blindness as a burden.  I don't think Chad saw his visual impairment as a burden because he lived independently for many years, he learned to play the guitar, he earned an associates degree and began further education in music therapy, he displayed unconditional love towards those around him, he helped maintain a business in making several products with raspberries, in short, he looked to the future and took confident steps to get himself to where he wanted to be.

I will be sad at Chad's passing to the next life and eternally grateful I knew him for the short time I was blessed to have him as a friend and to be his friend.

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